Tag Archives: corporatebanter payless coworker Vegas fauxleather

Personal #2: RE:FWD:RE Hot or Not?

It all started with Payless shoes and a faux leather skirt…

There is nothing better than corporate email banter. Especially when, in this case, two employees are snowed in on the East Coast, one is on the west, and all are looking forward to the one time of year they get together- for an annual conference in Vegas of all places.

The topic of discussion: relationships.

Generally speaking, I do not make it a practice of carrying on diatribe-type emails with coworkers on the corporate server. I do abide by our IT protocol. But this is banter that I could not spare to post.

Appealing to me about this corporate conversation is the impact that tête-à-têtes like this can have on the commercial workplace. If one is lucky enough to have a great comradery of coworkers who occasionally, if not frequently, blur the line between acquaintances and solid friends- it’s something that I believe should be welcomed, to be honest.

Who doesn’t get frustrated from time to time in the workplace? Or wants to share a hilarious story overheard at the proverbial water cooler? And when, leaning on a best friend, boyfriend, husband or wife to gain insight or share this juicy tidbit doesn’t really do the situation justice? Because they “just don’t get it?”

Enter co-friends, as I call them. More than co-workers, and definitely friends.

As we have read in “Say Everything” the beginning of blogging began with the idea that the ‘newest’ info is at the top of the page. This blog post runs in the same vein, only it chronicles two separate email chains.

A little confusing, but hang in there. It’s worth a read.

And of course, as I wear my corporate hat (sigh, always) I will put a disclaimer on these emails: the names have been removed to protect the innocent. No, I didn’t include a boilerplate.


(Especially the follow up email at the bottom. Classic.)

From: MS

Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 2:20 PM

To: JS; GB

Subject: RE: newlywed bliss

I think we all agree, bliss does ROCK! Savor it! And who doesn’t love a good kabob!

J, you are a good writer! I love that we can all share our experiences and find the humor in it all.

It is cute that Matt is a planner. Mike has trouble planning anything a week ahead! And he has trouble making decisions at times. Hence the current conundrum with the bathroom light fixtures. I am very, very patient. I tell him sometimes, rather remind him, how patient I am.

Ah, and men and their stereo equipment. Ever watch the show Modern Family? A few weeks ago the husband bought a new “receiver” and the wife was trying to use it to watch tv. Well that was me last summer just after we got our new receiver. It is complicated. You can’t just point and click. There’s all this stuff going on to get the TV to work and I was like the woman on TV calling mike at work saying “How the F*@k do you turn this thing on, the kids want to watch a movie.” I have it down now, but geese, do we really need all that to watch a movie. But yes, you can tell the difference between HDTV and non HDTV.

On the flip side, we will have that receive forever! So at least he buys stuff that he won’t tire of quickly.

G, re: working together on projects, it can get tense for us too, but as long as I am the one reading the directions, we do better. Mike doesn’t read them and usually ends up saying, as we are putting something together “I think I am missing a piece…they didn’t send me X!!!” Usually not the case.

And lastly…Valentine’s Day. I probably won’t get a card either. However, we do have plans to go to dinner w/ another couple because me and the other gal made the plans. I am learning that if I want us to have date nite, I need to plan it. Sometimes it pisses me off that I have to do yet another thing, but the end result is the same, we have a nite out. And occasionally, he will plan a night. Or he’ll surprise me and cook dinner, bathe the kids, or have our master bath countertops installed w/out telling me so I am surprised to see it all done.

So you are right G, it balances out.

But days like today, I still want to flick him in the head. 🙂

—–Original Message—–

From: JS

Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 10:50 AM

To: GB; MS

Subject: RE: newlywed bliss

Ok, ok. Yes, I’m still in bliss mode. I do believe it has something to do with the less than 9 months together syndrome… but either way, it does rock.

However, contrary to G’s point about restaurants- aside from the ever-popular outback steak house (I mean, COME ON, blooming onion?!) and Moby Dick’s House of Kabob (all in the name) we haven’t gone out to dinner since Jan 1. 2010. (And a note, we had gift certificates for both, which I think makes the story even better, considering they were gifts.  So, someone had GIVE them to us, which means we’ve spoken highly about them. M, ask G- I’m obsessed with kabob from Moby Dick’s.)

All is not always peachy-keen over here in bliss-world though. Just 20 minutes ago, Mr. Wonderful says, ok, I’ve got next summer all planned out.

You do? I inquire. (* note- always have to watch the tone with Mr. Wonderful, he’s quite perceptive).

Oh yes! He exclaims. I really want to do the Breckenridge Mt Bike race next summer… it will be awesome… it’s beautiful, gorgeous… could stay for two weeks… at this point, my ears start to glaze over and I can feel that “are you serious. Really.” feeling coming on. Perhaps he forgot about other plans we might (or might not have) that involve, hey, a bit of planning here or there and not-so-small items like a budget the size of a modestly priced home in suburban Ohio.

Either way, I spent Monday evening picking out a beautiful pair of padded ass-shorts and a new bike “saddle” (ladies, this is not the supple leather contraption I’m used to, oh no.) and a shiny new helmet that under any conditions looks like a mutilated egg crate. “It’s pearlescent.” He says. Really? No shred of evidence of cultured or tahitian pearls here.

So yes, bliss is nice. The nice restaurants, the newness of it all. But as I trudge down to the basement to try my new saddle (I opted for not wearing the amazing spandex shorts contraption at the moment) I really appreciate the moments like these, bike grease on my true religion jeans and all.


From: GB

Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 1:16 PM

To: MS; JS

Subject: RE: newlywed bliss

Haha M your story cracked me up!  I think I’m past the newlywed bliss too, so J might be the only one left.  This week Ian wanted to drill holes into the back of our brand new antique chest in the living room so he could fit his stupid audio receiver in at and so the cords could come out the back. So I did NOT want to help since whenever we do projects together we almost kill each other. So we spend 10 minutes arguing about doing the project and he decides that I’m right, we can’t do projects together, and he will just do it himself. I start to walk upstairs and he says “wait, before you go, can you just help me with this one part?” So you guessed it, 3 hours later I am still there helping him, and he is getting more and more frustrated, and then gets mad and says “we just can’t do projects together!”

Of course!!! That’s what I said all along!!! ugh. haha. but there are good moments too, so it evens out. meanwhile j is out at fancy restaurants and romantic dates – I told her I will be lucky to see more than a card on valentines day!! 🙂

—–OriGl Message—–

From: MS

Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 12:56 PM

To: JS; GB

Subject: newlywed bliss

I am happy you are in your newlywed bliss, but here is what you have to look forward to…:-)

Today, Mike forgot that Gio’s preschool class starts at 9:00 a.m. I happen to call him at 9:30 for something else and he hasn’t left yet. He says, oh, for some reason I thought it started at 10. Shit, you just took him last week at 9 why did  you think he had a different time?

I want to knock him in the head.

He’s so distracted with choosing lighting for our master bathroom, that is all he is focused on.

Hello!!!! Our life still needs to go on even though we are shopping for light fixtures.

(technically, he bought fixtures already, installed them and didn’t like them, so now he’s going back to the drawing board and taking everything back).

Oh, men. I still love him, but he drives me crazy!!!

So enjoy your bliss! I miss that bliss. I still have it in different ways, but that initial bliss is to be savored.

Thanks for letting me share. Thought it might add something to your blizardly day!



—–OriGl Message—–

From: JS

Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 9:07 AM

To: MS; GB

Subject: RE: Hot or not?

Here you go 🙂

Last one is purely selfish… in another catastrophic event, we shaved Matt’s beard last night. 🙂 Second to last pic is my favorite, “if you were planning to go outside… well, that’s just dumb.”


From: MS

Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 11:57 AM

To: GB; CN; JL; JS; SB

Subject: RE: Hot or not?

OMG! That is CRAZY!

The mailbox is almost covered!!!

From: GB

Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 8:50 AM

To: MS; CN; JL; JS; SB

Subject: RE: Hot or not?

for you west coast ladies, this is what it looks like out my front door.  please notice my mailbox.

From: GB

Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 11:13 AM

To: MS; CN; JL; JS; SB

Subject: RE: Hot or not?

Well I am doing just fine and trying not to think about the fact that all of my hours of shoveling on Sunday have disappeared with a fresh foot of snow and the wind blowing all of the old snow back on my driveway. ay ay ay.

From: MS

Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 11:09 AM

To: GB; CN; JL; JS; SB

Subject: RE: Hot or not?

Ooh, I like yours too! And so much cuter than snow boots.

I know, the one’s I sent you are 3 ½ inches. I’d really need to try them on and walk around to be 100% sure.

How are you doing with the snow? If you are at home, at least you didn’t need to shovel the walkway today, right?

From: GB

Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 8:07 AM

To: MS; CN; JL; JS; SB

Subject: RE: Hot or not?

Ooh I like those.  I vote HOT.  You and I can trip over our shoes together, see the ones I bought this weekend when I was supposed to be buying snowboots?


From: MS

Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 11:04 AM

To: CN; JL; GB; JS; SB

Subject: Hot or not?

Ok, my friends with more fashion sense that I have…are these hot or not?

For Vegas w/ a sequins skirt or faux leather skirt?


Still with me?

In case you did read all of that banter, the follow up email from MS is absolutely priceless…..

That is funny!

And you are right, now could you not love that!!!!


From: GB 
Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 1:07 PM
To: MS; JS
Subject: RE: One more story

Ahh haha M this is HILARIOUS.  I was laughing out loud, especially at the text you sent Mike.  Ian was like, “why are you laughing? I thought you were doing work.” haha.  How funny.  That sounds just like my house, minus the kids, and replace the light fixtures with our small cat, Belles.

me: “ian, what do you want for dinner?”

ian: “how about a roasted kitty? here belles! here belles! come here! come snuggle!”

me: “no, really. chicken or beef?”

ian: “I like kitties!  belles!  let’s play! get your toys!”

ahhhh.  how can I not love that?

From: MS 
Sent: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 2:56 PM
To: GB; JS
Subject: One more story

Ok, I’ve got to share another story:

Last night driving home, Mike sends me a text. “Dinner should be arriving shortly!” I text back – “do you mean real food, or is it code for sex  and he’s the meat”…or something like that. You get the idea. J

He says not, real dinner.

Whoo hoo I reply. He’s picking up something!

Or….he’s asked his mom to make us something (which he never does, so I am thinking…pizza, sushi, Chinese, etc.)

Nope, it was the latter. I drive up…after getting gas, listening to Gio’s whining “I’ve got to go PEEEEEE! I’ve got to go PEEEEE!”

The in-laws drive up.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my in laws, but it is a school night, it is bath night and my kids get crazier when grandma and papa are around. We have two hours to eat, put a dent in Gabby’s homework, bathe, brush teeth and get to bed.

And Gabby moves like a glacier (I can’t take credit for that analogy…read it on a blog and it hit home)!

So yes, dinner is made – yummy BTW- but now I’ve got to add this to my night.

So here’s how the first 30 minutes went:

Walk in the door, all three of us, Gio, Gabby and I in the bathroom, taking turns peeing! Washing hands.

Gabby, please start your homework.

Checking for email from Gabby’s teacher clarifying homework.

Email rec’d. 10 sentences using 25 spelling words, on top of the math pages and reading she’s got to do. She’s in first grade.

Gabby, START your homework!

Gio, yes, you can go get your Legos from your room

Paul (father in law) would you please help Gio bring his Legos down.

Diana (mother in law) – God your house is freezing! I know I tell her, we’ve been gone all day.

Turn on the heater

Make salads

Take 5 boxes off the dining room table – of light fixtures from earlier story.

Move crap from table…magazines, books, jacket, crap

Put table cloth on, which luckily was cleaned.

Gabby – Stop playing!!! Do your homework. You have a lot this week.

Help Gabby with homework

Fix kids plates

Mike walks in the house, says hello then goes upstairs to LOOK AT THE LIGHTS!

Those damn lights!!!

Warm up our plates.

Sit down to eat

Clear table.

Gabby – you need to finish your homework!

Start Gio’s bath

Run upstairs to change clothes, to find Mike and dad – TAKING DOWN THE LIGHTS!

So he can return them.

And start this process all over again!

Give Gio a bath.

Sit w/ Gabby while she works on homework.

Make a deal, she can tell me two things after her spelling words are compete. But not until then.

Gabby finishes work.

Tells me how to say mom and dad in Japanese and another story from school which escapes me. Apparently they are learning about dim sum and other cultures in class this week.

Give Gabby a bath.

Drying Gabby’s hair, and Mike comes in and asks if he can help. Now he does.

Yes, put Gio to bed.

Are you still with me? I am exhausted writing this. But not done.

Put Gabby to bed.

Come downstairs – Time check: 8:20 p.m.


Now on to the kitchen clean up, lunches for the next day, etc. Then sleep, but not before LOOKING AT LIGHTS ONLINE FOR 30 MINUTES!

And a stern venting on my part, to Mike, about how I realize he was trying to be helpful by asking his mom to make us something, but it creates a great deal more work and chaos to our already crazy night at home having them over for dinner in the middle of the week.

He listened.

Then went to be to watch Lost.



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